old dreams

(found post from my old xanga account, dated January 31, 2005)

As of late, I've been having some pretty fucked up dreams. Not only that, but in 3-hour naps after school, the usual 4-5 hours of sleep I get each night, and any other measly amount of sleep I manage to get, I'll have multiple dreams, the most - to my record - being 5. Lucky for you, I've recorded them all.

dream 001: cast of characters: internet steve
steve used to have a picture on myspace of him doing a backflip. i dreamt i was there when the photo was taken. & then i proceeded to go to jamie vernon's house and we made out hxc.

dream 002: cast of characters: zack starkey
i don't even know this character in real life, though i have seen him at least 50 times on & around campus, gallery hops, shows, etc. he was having an art show and he was putting away his pieces as i watched. i noticed he had the most beautiful green eyes.

dream 003: anal masturbation. (no, not on myself..sick.) the end.

dream 004: cast of characters: josh guyton, random boys, nana
i was waitressing at a restaraunt in arizona (it was the restaraunt at which i ate my 17th birthday dinner with my mom, sister, and grandparents). i saw josh and 3 other guys behind the kitchen doors at the bar with their backs against the wall. my nana had died, but no one told me.

dream 005: cast of characters: cindy crawford, random co-workers & customers, friends, my grandma shirley & her 25 year old boyfriend, guy from garden state
lesbian sex with cindy crawford & a list of positions to try. 30 year old guys (customers of drug mart) were in a car with connie (a woman i work with) - she was taking us all home because we were in the middle of a horrid storm. i was on my way to the lennox with the gang and, against my dad's wishes, i went to visit my grandma shirley (who is estranged and i have no idea where she is. my family has not spoken to her in 8 years.) she had a very attractive 25 year old boyfriend who was acting obviously shy because he was embarassed that i was closer in age to him than my grandma. i met some random guys & went to their house where we sat in their attic and talked. i was with the girls, though i don't recall actually seeing them in the dream. we each had a guy, and mine was the guy from garden state who invented silent velcro. he left the room and his friends told me that he had a wife and kids. he subsequently fled the scene.

dream 006: cast of characters: unmentionable here
over time i've had multiple dreams in which a certain friend of mine 'steals' the guy of my interest. the friend & i were somewhere with the guy that i liked. he started showing interest in her, and she returned it. all of the girls (especially one in particular) got so mad at me and told me i had absolutely no right and was a bitch for being upset and for 'interfering.' i was so completely heart broken. and then i was at a restaraunt at the outdoor patio and a cop walked up and asked to search my bag. i had weed on me and i was so scared he would find it, but he only found a zone bar and asked me to throw it away.

dream 007: cast of characters: unmentionable*, and a random family and model that do not exist in real life
i was at a school dance on a camp ground. johnny* and i spotted eachother and embraced for a really unusually long period of time. then he said he had fucked his date under a table. then i was driving home from polaris and got lost. so i went to this huge house i somehow knew the security code to. it belonged to a family that owned a car dealership and whos mom/wife my mom went to high school with. i went in and walked around and then someone came home. i was terrified. it was some model who was living with them, and she was being so mean to me and threatening to call the police. then the little kids came home and were really mean to me too and ran to get mommy & daddy. the parents came and were super nice and the dad offered to drive in front of me on my way home to make sure i got there okay.

dream 008: cast of characters: 2 brothers & sisters that don't exist in real life, a girl i went to high school with but never knew her name
2 brothers & sisters were engaging in incestuous sexual activity. later, i saw a girl whom i've never spoken to but went to my high school. she talked to me about the photojournalism program at ou and how much she loved it there.

dream 009: sarah + her mom, maccauly caulkin, friends, jenna bland
i was pregnant and wrote about it on my xanga. sarah got in trouble because her mom read it and assumed she was pregnant too. later, i was at meijer and maccauly caulkin was my cashier and also my cousin. i was highly attracted to him. i walked all around the store trying to figure out how to steal gum & candy for the movie. meijer showed movies in a theater, but the group of people i was with could not find it. but then i remembered it was in the back of the store, upstairs. they showed only one movie - a scary home-made film, and the theater was a tiny, cobwebby, dark, lonely, scary room. there were about 10 wooden chairs scattered all about, and the "theater" was very informal - it was like someone's basement. there were scary decorations everywhere and it was a lot like a haunted house. my friends made me enter first. i kept my eyes closed because i was so scared (i had been there before.. in a prior dream, which is really fucking weird.) jenna bland was the person who ran the meijer movie in both dreams i had about it (which is also weird because i can't even remember the last time i talked to her.) this place obviously does not exist in reality.

dream 010: cast of characters: unmentionable*
timothy* and i were standing next to eachother by a microwave. we were not speaking, but our thoughts would scroll across the window of the microwave, exactly like an instant message on a computer screen.

dream 011: cast of characters: john vance, jamie elder, sam corlett, kate sweeney, ian bates, children, unmentionable girl* and people that don't exist in real life
i saw john at a hospital. we were standing next to eachother, not speaking. he was calling me, but he had no telephone, nor did i. he had a box stitched to the back of his neck and it startled me. he was calling me to explain. "DON'T EAT THE BLACK PIECES OF RICE!" he said, "IT'S THE BINARY STAR!" i was walking in the rain, and sought dryness in the underground sidewalk of bre's neighborhood. all of the houses had tarps over them to shield from the rain. they were all painted the exact same color of blue, and looked exactly the same. to get out of the neighborhood, i had to walk through someone's back patio. i saw a mini-disc player & mini-discs all over the place. i got very, very angry at the fact that they had mini-discs, because who the fuck uses mini-discs?! i kicked them everywhere and threw them all over the place. i walked out of the yard and past the front door, hoping it would be shut and the owners would not see me. however, it was jamie elder's house, and she was having a birthday party. i got very scared because she'd seen me, and i tried to run away, but in a very cartoon-like fashion, my legs were moving but i was not going anywhere. having seen me, she asked me to join the party. i felt guilty doing so, considering i'd just smashed all of her mini-discs. her hair was straightened & she was not wearing glasses. i walked in the front door and ian, sam, & kate were sitting on the couch. i walked to the basement where the action was, and i first saw a 10ish year old boy with his hand in his pants - masturbating! i was in disgust & yelled at him to stop. a bunch of really ghetto white people came down the stairs and were followed by a group of men that varied greatly in appearance but all had the same distinct eyes - exactly like jamie's. i knew they were her family members. a very spanish-looking man came right up to my face and got so close as if to kiss me. i was very shocked & asked wtf he was doing. he explained that it was a family ritual at birthday gatherings to give all of the guests the "love" or "birthday" bite. he then sucked on my chin and was proceeded by the rest of the men, and stephanie*.

dream 012: cast of characters: unmentionable girl #1 and #2
i was talking to someone and making jokes. #1 would chime in and shyly try too hard to be funny. #2 sat and pouted and did not talk, laugh or smile.

drean 013: cast of characters: unmentionable girls' brother, who, in the dream, was a recent customer of drug mart
the girls brother was sitting in a workout facility/warehouse with me, teaching me computer skills.

dream 014: in reality, i called a feria haircolor hotline the other day to ask about the affects of dying my hair. she told me to mix the hair color chemicals a certain way. in this dream, i mixed them wrong, dyed my hair, and it turned bright red.

dream 015: cast of characters: one of my teachers
unmentionable teacher was talking to me. the whole scene was fuzzy and very dreamy-dreamlike. he asked me if i had been officially added to his class roster. as i began to answer him, [in real life]my dad screamed at me to wake up and get ready for work. there was a huge flash of light in my eyes/brain/whatever as i opened my eyes and woke up. it was frightening.

dream 016ish: cast of characters: chinese person, class of boys(i had the dreams while under the influence at ohio university this weekend)
i had a chain of about 5 dreams. all of them consisted of a main character who was chinese. in one of the dreams, the character was a very scary looking monster. in another, i had a mental disability and was standing naked atop a toilet seat in a stall at an ou communal bathroom.